What do you think people most want from each other?  If you watch much TV or see many movies, you might think the answer is "sex."  However, there is a much deeper and more realistic answer to the question.  Your deepest needs and desires transcend all stages of life, and even health conditions. 

Your real wants are tied to your created order, how God designed you.  He created you in His image.  That means that many, (most, all?) of your desires mirror - or are connected to - God's desires in some way.

A few important things that we know about God are that "God is love" (1 John 4:8,16) and that He is communal.  God is relationally connected within the Godhead - Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  The three persons of the God relate in oneness.  God's love and communal nature are also expressed in His creation.  He is not distantly watching what He has created, He is actively engaging with His creation - particularly with people, His image bearers.  And, He has placed within us a desire to connect with Him and each other.  We want to know and be known by God and others - it's in our design.

People most want to know and be known by each other - they want to connect.  To connect, however, you first have to hear and be heard.  You need to be clearly heard before you will ever feel deeply known by anyone else; and you can never really know someone whose heart you have not clearly heard.

Listening is hard business.  It requires concentration and discipline.  You must stop the voices and distractions that vie for your attention in order to truly listen to another.  So often we think we are listening when we are only giving it a partial effort.  Real listening suspends a need to solve anyone's problems, it isn't working on answers or responses, it doesn't stray toward other thoughts or ideas, it isn't visually distracted - real listening is caringly focused.  When we really listen others know it.  They can feel it.  They are cared for, and feel connected.  Such listening is willing to take its time - and will wait for its turn to respond.  Scripture declares, "He who answers before listening- that is his folly and his shame." (Proverbs 18:13)

Would you like to meet someone's deep need today?  -  Listen to her/him with your full attention. Simply be with that person; connect with him/her in an unconditional way; pay full attention to what they are saying.  Listen to others as you would have them listen to you.

Listening to you,
Pastor Tom
tgriffith@rolcboston.org

www.rolcboston.org